Irony

Last night at work, a shaggy, skinny hipster came through my line, wearing a George Strait Tour 1986 t-shirt that was about two sizes too small, even for his emaciated frame, but it was a nice shirt. Blue, with just simple white writing, in George Strait's trademark cursive logo.

"Hey, I like your shirt," I said to him, partly serious, but also partly testing him.

He looked down at it to see which shirt he was wearing. "Oh thanks," he said, smiling a little.

"Have you actually had that since you were a kid?" I asked, innocently enough.

He smiled, bigger this time. "Ah, no, it's just...from a thrift store or something," he stammered.

"Oh," I said, "so it's like, ironic?"

He shrugged sheepishly, cleary a little embarrassed. "Yeah, I guess."

I nodded. "Oh," I replied, "that's really cool." The sarcasm was dripping.

I kind of felt like a dick, but I also kind of didn't.

I ain't rich, but Lord I'm free

It's so rare that I ever become starstruck about anything these days, but it happened the other day, quite unexpectedly. One of the residents currently occupying the hospice, I'll call him F., is the son of a pretty well-known musician. F. was a model in the 80's, and appeared in several films, and knows a lot of people. (He showed me his portfolio the other day and it was pretty crazy.)

When I went into F.'s room the other night, I noticed a new photo he had on his night table. It was a photograph of a man, taken at a party or something, wearing a cowboy hat. I said, "Is that George Strait?" F. smiled and said it was, and said they were friends, and had known each other since they were 6 or 7 years old. Of course I minorly freaked out, and said, "Do you think he'd come play my next birthday party? I have a really nice backyard." I guess F. took me sort of seriously and said, "Oh, he barely plays out anymore at all these days, since his daughter died."

Admittedly, I know absolutely nothing about George Strait's personal life, or if he's even really from Texas, and I kind of prefer it that way. But of course this picqued my interest. F. said that George had lived in San Marcos for years and years, but he had a teenage daughter that died in a car wreck in 95 or 96, and after that, George and his wife couldn't bear to keep living in the house where they'd raised her, so they sold it and moved to San Antonio. And he mostly stopped touring after that.



...

I really like the house right now. Everyone there really seems to like me. They greet me so warmly whenever I come in, and everytime I leave, they always ask when I'm coming back. Even the one that last week I had to call the cops on (that's a whole other story) and who called me a "fucking spoiled rich kid" told me a few days later that I was his favorite person that worked there. When I was leaving today, he said, "If you stay longer, I'll pay you with my own money." Another resident told me she loved me, and said, "You treat me so fantastic and make me feel better." They're sweet.

Mandy's Music Challenge

Mandy posted this list "challenge" on her blog, and considering how much free time I have these days, and how long it's been since I posted anything, I'll attempt to fulfill it. (I'll also put in a disclaimer that "favorite" is a very strong word.) (Disclaimer 2: I haven't paid much attention to music in the past couple of years, and have become scarily un-hip; not that I was incredibly hip before....)


* What's a great late night song? The entire Walkie-Talkie album by Air.

* Name 5-10 wistful/bittersweet songs: I May Hate Myself in the Morning (But I'm Gonna Love You Tonight)/Lee Anne Womack
The Dance/Garth Brooks,
Angel of the Morning/Juice Newton,
Late Night Maudlin Street/Morrissey,
Hey That's no Way to say Goodbye/Leonard Cohen,
Mammoth Cave/Holopaw,
Moon River/Henry Mancini,
Everytime/Britney Spears (shut up, it's a really sad song!),
Jonathan David/Belle & Sebastian,
Doll Parts/Hole,
One More Hour/Sleater Kinney (is that 11 songs?)

* The 4 Best Songs Ever Written: Yeah right.

* 3 Current Favorite Songs: The Adventure/Angels & Airwaves, Samson/Regina Spektor, Move Along/All-American Rejects

* Classic Early Evening Drinking Music: Goodbye Yellow Brick Road/Elton John (any of that old Elton John stuff)

* 3 All Time Faves That Never Get Old To You: Billie Jean/Michael Jackson, Happy Together/The Turtles, Can't Take My Eyes off of You/Frankie Valli

* Song You Want (or did) To Play At Your Wedding: Let it Be Me/Willie Nelson

* 4 Records You Really Dug from 2005: Extraordinary Machine/Fiona Apple, Plans/Death Cab for Cutie, There's More Where That Came From/Lee Ann Womack, Confessions on a Dancefloor/Madonna

* Favorite Records From This Year So Far: Dixie Chicks, Regina Spektor, Angels & Airwaves

* Good Angry Songs: Violet/Hole, I'm Waking Up to Us/Belle & Sebastian, Anything by Kelly Clarkson, the entirety of the Dear You record by Jawbreaker

* One of Your Favorite Lyrics: Time provides the rope/But love will tie the slipknot/And I will be the chair you kick away.

* 5 Cover Songs Arguably Better Than the Original: It's My Life/No Doubt, Hazy Shade of Winter/The Bangles, The Bluest Eyes in Texas/Nina Persson, Hurt/Johnny Cash

* Great Dance Song You Maybe Never Realized Was a Great Dance Song Back in the Day:

* Good Albums To Workout To: pop-punk crap

* Good Album to Clean The House To: Easy/Kelly Willis

* Good Dining Music: Anything classical

* Good Album To Have Sex To: Depends what kind of sex you're having! I've been doing it with country music on lately. Mid-tempo stuff.

* A Good Album To Put You In the Mood (that is NOT Sade, Marvin Gaye or Barry White): Again, depends what kind of sex you wanna have.

* Good Album To Sleep To: The last 3 songs of Disintegration by the Cure.

* 5 Good Rock Songs That You Can Dance To: Since U Been Gone/Kelly C., Welcome to the Jungle/Guns 'N Roses, Roots Radical/Rancid,

* Song That Is Too Damn Sad: I See a Darkness/Bonnie Prince Billy

* Great Love Song: Amarillo by Morning/George Strait (It's a love song about life)

* An Album Full of Tenderness: New Skin for the Old Ceremony/Leonard Cohen

* Song To An Ex That Isn't Meanspirited: A Fire I Can't Put Out/George Strait

* Song To An Ex That Is Kinda Meanspirited: Fireman/Jawbreaker

Wow, I just realized both of those songs have to do with fire; that totally wasn't intentional.

* Song to Listen to While in The Country Looking at Stars: Slowdive is good for that. In a really generic way.

* Song to lose your Mind to:

* Song To Cry In Your Pillow to: Good Woman/Cat Power. Also, When You were Mine/Dixie Chicks.

* Songs That Make You Feel Amped and Inspired: Intravenous/Catherine Wheel

* Great Semi-Obscure B-side: You Never Wash up After Yourself/Radiohead, on the "My Iron Lung" E.P.

* Song That Makes You Miss Your Mom: Anything by Mozart

* That's Baby Makin' Music (No, Really): Gross. Why does "baby makin" sound so dirty? Milkshake/Kelis.

* Criminally Underrated Band That Didn't Get Attention and Then Broke Up:

* Best Fuck You I Am a Teenager in Pain Song: Head Like a Hole/Nine Inch Nails

* Feel No Shame: Great Current Pop Songs: Stars are Blind/Paris Hilton, SOS/Rihanna

* Album No One Would Expect You To Love: Anything I put here is probably going to make me look naive. But I'll say Stripped/Christina Aguilera.

* Album No One Would Expect You To Dislike: the last Sleater Kinney, which I didn't dislike, I just wasn't interested.

* Album No One Would Expect You To Really Know: Summerteeth/Wilco

* Emo Album You Actually Like: Anything by Jets to Brazil

* Good, But Overrated Cause Of Indie Revisionism: I have no idea what this means.

* 5 Desert Island Discs off the top of your head (30 sec clock): Disintegration/the Cure, Little Earthquakes/Tori Amos, The Singles 1992-2003/No Doubt, 50 Number 1's/George Strait, Different Class/Pulp

Hmmm.... that's kind of a lame list. but it was off the top of my head.

* 3 Contemporary Artists That Were Your Faves 10 Years Ago: Moby, Courtney Love, Pet Shop Boys

* Music That Makes You Feel Sophisticated: Shostakovich

* Fave Electronic Record You Own: Risotto/Fluke (I think this is the only electronic record I currently own, unless I'm misinterpreting what "electronic" means)

* Fave Hip-Hop Record You Own: Honest to God, I don't think I own a single hip-hop record.

* Hip-Hop Song You Know All the Lyrics Too: I don't know. Shoop?

* Random Album You Loved In High School But Are Afraid To Admit It: I'm not afraid to admit anything. I loved Body Mind Soul by Debbie Gibson. I thought it was sexy. and anything by My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult. I thought it freaked people out.

* Album You May Have Listened To More In Highschool than Any Other Album: Automatic for the People/REM. Or Little Earthquakes. That would be a toss-up.

* If You Could Enter A Wrestling Ring to a Song It Would Be: Bloodclot/Rancid

* Album To Clear A Room With: Speaking of Rancid, that Transplants record.

I found what I needed on the seashores of old Mexico

Tonight at work there were a bunch of fat, Mexican workmen hanging around doing some much-needed fix-ups to the bakery. One of them, however, I have to say, really caught my eyes. Which brings me to reveal one of my strange, idiosyncratic turn-ons: which is stocky, 30-something Mexican men. I don't know why, but for some reason, I often find them very attractive. I think it also has something to do with the fact that most of them work in physical labor, and again, blue-collar: fuckin' hot. Ultimately for a relationship, mental labor is much more attractive to me, but a man who makes a living with his hands is really, really sexy.

So this guy was shorter than me, pretty built, had a slight beer-gut (which I also find sexy in very small doses), and had some kind of crazy scar on the left side of his face that looked maybe like a burn, which just made him that much hotter. He also took a weird liking to me, and kept talking to me in very fast, almost staccato, broken English that I could barely understand, but I kept playing along anyway, laughing at his jokes and trying to make my own without looking like a complete idiot. When he left, he forgot his cap, and when he came back in to get it, it was right next to me on the counter. It had the Longhorns on it, so he started talking to me about how long he's lived in Austin (25 years), and how he was "Texas til I die." Or something. I couldn't quite understand. So then he starts talking to me about how he has two grown children, and even a grandchild and how old he is. So I ask how old he is and he tells me 40, but then adds that his girlfriend is 19. He started laughing about how she gets really jealous and checks up on him constantly, and he was all, "I'm just an old, ugly man, I don't know why she gets jealous. I guess I got something she wants." He then leans in very close to me and says, "She wants my dick. And my tongue." And then laughs hysterically.

1. I found this both repugnant and arousing. As I do with most things.

2. I really wanted to say to him, "You better be careful what you say around me; you're talking to a very lonely man."

3. It always sort of amazes and mystifies me when I can effectively "pass" for straight, no matter how short a time period it may be. I feel like I just pretty much walk around with a neon sign above my head, flashing QUEER! QUEER! over and over again. But I guess if you don't actually know me, and you don't really think about such things, it may just never occur to you. But I feel like these days it occurs to everybody all the time. But maybe not.

Which brings me to my next Mexico item, which is that George Strait's new single is one of my favorite songs ever. It's called "On the seashores of Old Mexico," and tells the tale of a man running from the law in Tucson who crosses the border into Mexico, escapes, meets a young senorita also escaping (but from her husband), and they live happily ever after. The chorus goes:

But she loved a gringo
my red hair and lingo
that's all that I needed to know.
I found what I needed on the seashores of old Mexico.

It's so fucking good. There's also an Eddie Raven song I hear a lot, but I think it's old, about a man whose girlfriend leaves him, so he goes to Mexico. What is it with country singers and Mexico? Is this a new thing, or has it been around awhile? Is it the whole outsider image that country singers like so much to portray when they're not singing about God? They're all convicts and rebels and America is just too small and staunch to hold them or something? Anyway, the chorus of the Eddie Raven song goes:

I'm eatin' right and I'm feelin' good.
Doin' everything I said I would.
I shoulda left a long time ago.
Who needs you, I've got Mexico?

Hmm. Very prescient for me. Maybe I'll find what I need in the mountains of old Mexico.