Monday, April 24, 2006

The End

I just finished my very last American Experience class at school. My professor did this really nice thing where if you're happy with your grade in the class, you don't have to take the final. Well, I have a 98 in the class, so needless to say, I'm skipping the final. I'm sad it's over, though. This semester has just flown by, and I'm totally in love with every one of my teachers. Being a much older student than almost everybody else here, I naturally gravitated more towards my professors than the other students when I arrived here, and I've managed to forge somewhat personal relationships with all 4 of them.

I really liked the American Experience class. It was basically the history of America, told through the eyes of the minorities, which seems like a fairly ingenious way to teach history to me, since history is written by the winners. My teacher is a very soft-spoken middle-aged woman, incredibly sweet, with a great sense of humor. She's a widow whose husband died of emphysema, she has 2 big dogs and lives in south Austin. But she's from Corpus and about to move back there to be with her new boyfriend. I got really sad leaving class today, thinking I'm sure I'll never see her again. It's a tendency I have in my life, to want to hold on to every single person who ever makes a difference to me. I know it's impossible, and if I actually did stay in contact with everyone I've ever known, with whom I wanted to stay in contact, I would be exhausted just trying to stay in contact. I know she's just a teacher and there will be more, and her "purpose" in my life, essentially, was to do exactly what she did. But it makes me sad to think about all the people from my past I wish I could still talk to. I even have professors from the University of Arkansas I tried to find recently, but couldn't. I have no idea why, or what I would possibly say to them if I did find them, but no matter. It seems like people just come and go so often and relationships are so fragile, or are there to just serve some transitional purpose or to teach you a lesson, and once that's done, poof, they're gone. I guess it's for the best, but I think it fucking sucks.

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