going without sleep is sort of an interesting experiment, though it wipes me out emotionally. i haven't slept in almost 29 hours, and in that time i've traveled halfway across the country, and been drunk and sobered up again, and put in almost a full day of work.
for some reason, after getting home last night, i just couldn't sleep. i drank wine with collier and karen at my place, went to bed at midnight, but just couldn't fall asleep for the life of me. finally, around 4:30, i said "screw it," and got up and came into work to get the day over with. i clocked in at 5:15.
i'm sure going without sleep probably has about the same effect on everyone, but i just feel like i'm standing on the edge of a building, and at any minute, a slight breeze could come along, and my whole facade would collapse. i wanna cry my eyes out right now just thinking about how i yelled at my cat last night for meowing, i feel so guilty about it. it's totally absurd. hopefully when i get off at 1:15 and go home, i'll just be able to crash. i've had a very physically and emotionally exhausting last 4 days, and i'd rather not decompress through anger. it makes me feel so awful about myself when i lash out or lose my cool like that. everything just piles up. i need to sleep.