when you're old and lonely you will wish you'd married me

i got an email yesterday from this guy on Friendster. i really haven't been in the mood to date lately, and feel like it's the last thing i really want to be doing right now. but i checked out his profile, and he was actually really cute, and seemed really smart, had good taste in things, is producing and acting in a local theater's production of BENT, and was a psych major at UT. i figured if nothing else, maybe i could just bend his ear about that. so i thought, "screw it," maybe i just need to move on and get back out there. so i replied to his email, and got a little excited at the prospect of hearing back from him.

well, i heard back from him today. i'm not really very excited anymore. for starters, he sent me a small questionnaire to fill out, consisting of 3 simple questions:

1) are you a drunk?
2) have you ever been in therapy? did you get something out of it?
3) have you ever sold real estate, or have you ever had a desire to do so?

secondly, he sent me a press release for BENT, which starts next month, along with a promotional poster featuring a very cut naked torso of a man (the head is not visible), which he took pains to point out to me, was him on the poster.

hmmm..... i wasn't really sure what to do. his email had a very friendly tone, and he was jokey about the questions, saying that if he tried to explain why he had to ask them the answers i would conceivably give would just further confound his explanations....

i deliberated for roughly 10 minutes before responding that i didn't realize i had to pass a test to get a date, but that i would answer them anyway. so i tried to give cutesy answers without seeming like a date with this stranger was so important to me that i was willing to divulge very personal and judgemental-worthy information about myself. we'll see how he responds to that. just because half of my Friendster photos prominitely feature an alcoholic beverage shouldn't lead one to draw conclusions.

god, this is why i hate dating. why does everybody have to be so fucked up and weird all the time?

the only way i'm going to find this email excusable is if his last boyfriend was a ruthless drunk that used to beat him, and also just happened to sell real estate and refused to go to therapy.

so unless i see some bruises or scars, he's an asshole.