Friday, August 18, 2006

Free bags of blow, anyone?

Contrary to popular belief, I'm not a big fan of trolling for porn on the internet. I just find it depressing, gross and boring, and much prefer to have the real thing, especially if he cuddles and cooks me eggs and bacon in the morning.

However, whenever I do get that little itch, there's pretty much only one site I ever check out, which is Sean Cody. He pretty consistently delivers the goods, from high production values, to pretty much always having cute boys.

He does, however, have this really schlocky concept, which is that all the dudes are straight, and just "fooling around," or have been curious, but never done anything with a guy, or were raised in some bat-shit crazy religious household and they're rebelling, like, big-time! All of which is to say that I found a totally hilarious (but short) essay online today from another Sean Cody fan deconstructing the intros, and interpreting what they really mean. If you're not already familiar with how hokey they are, it might not be so funny to you. Money quote:

For those of you unfamiliar with Sean Cody's brilliant shtick, he tries to pass off his models as innocent straight boys picked off a California beach. Is anybody really buying this crap? I'm certainly not. Yet I still read every bio because I get a kick out of his retarded prose and the latest straight-guy-in-peril dilemma. Oh no, Patrick's girlfriend is withholding sex! He's gotta pound some dude's ass to unwind.

Then he gets on to the actual sentence-by-sentence deconstructing, which is really funny. And probably not far off from the truth. The essay is totally SFW, by the way. No pics or nothin'. Just some good ole-fashioned bitchiness.

Also, changing the subject slightly, if anyone's interested, the new issue of Rolling Stone, with X-tina on the cover, has an AMAZING interview with Kurt Vonnegut. Dude, that guy is off the chain! I remember reading one of his books when I was 18 (probably Slaughterhouse Five, but I sadly don't remember), and enjoying it, but it never really whetting my appetite for more. I'm starting to reconsider my ambivalence.

He basically talks the whole time about how as a race, we're completely doomed, there's no reversing it now, and no amount of environmental awareness or goodwill can save us now. He also threatens to sue the cigarette companies for their products not killing him yet, and calls Dubya a "phony Christian." I think my favorite quote of the whole article is this one:

"Humans are a mistake. We have destroyed our entire planet over transportation-whoopee. The Bush administration says it's conducting a war against drugs? Then let them bust the oil lobby. Talk about an awful, destructive substance. You pump this gas stuff into your car and you can zoom a hundred miles an hour, kill pets and shatter the atmosphere to smithereens...Life," he says, "is no way to treat an animal."

1 comment:

ama said...

i you, ryan. let's go crack some skulls to a nice little belle and sebastian soundtrack!