Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Saved by the Butts

Yesterday, all the gay bloggers in the land were all in a tizzy about leaked photos from the upcoming season of Nip/Tuck, in which Mario "A.C. Slater" Lopez joins the cast as a third surgeon, and of course he and Dr. Troy start gettin' it on at the gym. Or something.

Naturally, that's the direction Dr. Troy would go in. He's a raging sex addict, a complete mysoginist, and hasn't been interested in a woman for more than 15 minutes, ever. And he's a total narcissist. All that equals latent homosexuality.

It's too bad, really, that I don't find either of them particularly attractive.

I'm very excited about season 4, though, even though I haven't seen season 3 yet. Most of season 2 was occupied by the Carver, which was totally boring and ridiculous. He was basically a serial rapist who wore a funny mask and only attacked supermodels, and raped them and slashed their faces to make some mundane point about how pretty people have life so much easier than everybody else, or some bullshit. At least he was equal opportunity: he'd rape and pillage both boys and girls. So the doctors started taking on the victims as clients (for free, of course, because they're wonderful people) and as the television world dictates, the Carver started stalking them and attacked Dr. Macnamara in his home, after he kicked his wife out of the house for sleeping with his best friend (Dr. Troy) like, 85 years ago, and he'd just finished fucking a blow-up doll made from one of Dr. Troy's ex-girlfriends who was hitting it big in the porn world, because he was kind of in love with her, very attracted to her, and he missed his wife, even though he wouldn't let her come back.

(Actually, the reason he kicked her out and was so mad was because she finally revealed that their 18-year-old son was actually Dr. Troy's, and no one knew but her; meanwhile their son was having an affair with his middle-aged "life coach," played by Famke Janssen, who turned out to be a MTF transsexual, but no one knew that either until Dr. Troy tried to fuck her, and surprise!, she had no vagina. Then Dr. Mcnamara's wife spiraled into an out of control depression and became addicted to mixing painkillers and alcohol, then one night stumbled through a glass door in her new, depressing apartment, cutting her face all up, which her husband had to reconstruct for her, but still wouldn't let her come back home. Which was all extremely depressing.)

Such is the world of Nip/Tuck. So I know the Carver mystery gets solved in season 3, and I still don't know who it is, though I have a pretty good idea.

I should be blogging about school or something. There's a whole in my life now that Six Feet Under is over.

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