Friday, September 15, 2006

Thanks for making me a fighter!

Man, I have to say, I'm feeling really good these days. Better than I can remember feeling in well over two years. And you wanna know the biggest indicator that I feel so good? I've been feeling very feisty. Especially at school.

Lately, I've had almost uncontrollable urges to raise my hand in class, and just say the most inappropriate things, like, "Um, yeah, do you have an explanation as to why you're so full of shit?" (to the professor.) Or to make off the cuff sexual remarks that have little or nothing to do with the lesson being discussed, for the sheer sake of being offensive.

I have no idea where these urges are coming from, but I suspect a lot of it is boredom. I'm still very happy to be in school, but now that I'm in nothing but Psych courses, it's all starting to overlap a bit. For instance, my Social Psychology class that I have on MWF, is taught by the same teacher who teaches my Experimental Psychology class on Tues. and Thursdays. And it's essentially the exact. same. lecture. So basically get the same two lessons twice a week. And now in my Social Psych class, we're talking a lot about how people grow up, and so a lot of that is now starting to overlap with my Child Development class that I have on MWF.

And so much of it is common sense anyway, and the stuff that isn't common sense I find to be either complete bullshit, or totally irrelevant. Which has led me to the conlusion that I think about 98% of all psychology is utter bullshit and nothing more than speculation. ANY psychological theory, perspective, test, experiment, whatever, can either, a) apply to every single person in the world, or b) apply to absolutely no one. It all depends on how you spin it. And for every test or experiment done to try to demonstrate some inherent truth about human nature, someone, somewhere, and most likely lots of people everywhere, can disprove it just as easily. And not crazy people, either, but just regular everyday people. So what has been proven? Absolutely nothing.

In the midst of all these over-curious psychological wackos wasting too much time on trivial matters, some genuine science and discoveries emerge, yes, but for the most part, I just sit in class everyday, and think to myself, "So what? I'm hungry."

I still believe wholeheartedly in counseling and therapy, and better living through better self-awareness, but every single person is unique, and only they can really understand themselves and their motivations, and even then, most of the time, the majority of it remains a total mystery.

Which has also really made me start reconsidering grad school plans. Maybe things will change, but I honestly can't imagine that I could stomach 2-5 years studying psychology any longer, particularly in a clinical setting. So now I'm really leaning towards reverting back to my original plan to get my master's in Counseling, as opposed to Psychology, or maybe Social Work. I've been thinking about that a lot, too.

But regardless, times are good.

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