Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Filling the bottomless void of my soul

I've never been a "sugar person." I've always been much more of a "salt person." I like my occasional dessert, and sometimes I get the hankering for some ice cream (especially in the winter, for some reason), but I've never liked candy, I can only eat chocolate in small amounts, and usually I just don't like sweet stuff.

Well let me tell you, since I quit smoking I've only craved a cigarette maybe twice, and it quickly passed, but I've been a sugar fiend like nobody's business. Sodas every day? Check. Milkshakes? Check. Ice cream smoothies? Check. The little chocolate squares right by the registers at Central Market? Check. The boxes of 6 peanut butter chocolate chunk cookies made by the bakery? Check. Pre-made cookie dough, eating half of it, then baking some cookies, and eating like, 6 of them in one sitting? Check. Putting sugar on my oatmeal in the morning, which I haven't done since junior high? Check. Adding sugar to iced coffee? Check. Coming home at night and drinking gigantic glasses of chocolate milk, sometimes two? Check.

And I'm sure I could think of some more. It's appallingly disgusting. It really started kicking in after about a week of not smoking, and I begrudgingly gave in for a few days. But now it just feels out of control. I've pretty much cut myself off, and tried my damnedest to supplement my cravings with fruit or yogurt, and mostly it works, but it still just....gets you.

I haven't really been drinking much, either, but I've increased my beer intake again in hopes that that will kill the sugar cravings.

It's always something with me. I'm just a bottomless pit of need.


Mandy said...

I get cravings like that, either for sugar or salt.

Why can't we have uncontrollable cravings for green leafy vegetables?

ryan said...

I do, actually, sometimes. They're just not as extreme, and not as worrisome. I guess.