Wednesday, August 24, 2005

The Wonders of Pittsburgh Boys

so, it's officially official. i'm going to Pittsburgh, Steel Town, USA. i'm very excited. i got my plane tickets yesterday, and reserved a room at The Priory this morning. i got a very good rate on a tiny old monk cell with a twin bed. i haven't slept on a twin bed in years, but to stay in this place for $79 a night, right downtown, is a steal, for sure. and i actually really like the idea of it being very small and compact. it makes me feel weirdly safer. especially in a big, strange city.

so, i have plans for things i'd like to do. mostly i plan to just walk around and explore, but i have to go to The Mattress Factory of course, and perhaps the The Andy Warhol Museum, even though i'm not particularly a warhol fan. i just think i should see it. and of course do the Duquesne Incline.

but mostly i want to just walk around, get a feel for the place, experience a real autumn, which i haven't in a while. that will be really nice. i believe in mid-september the weather there is typically in the low 70's during the day. which is profoundly perfect.

i also found this guy on Friendster who has agreed to meet up with me, show me around a bit. he seems pretty cool, like some kind of communal hippy of some sort, but i figure someone like that would probably know the most interesting places to go, or things to do. and he looks kinda hot. :)

i know the main intention of this trip was to be alone, and i plan to. i want to spend the majority of my days alone, with no one else's itinerary, or agenda, or pressure. i want to be able to take as long as i want sitting at an outdoor cafe, drinking coffee and having a cigarette. or if i just want to sit in a park and people-watch, or write, or whatever, for 3 hours straight, i'll do it. this trip is all about me. but having said that, it would be nice to have dinner with someone, or maybe go out to a bar one night with someone, experience some night life. i don't know. i'm trying to go there with no agenda myself, either, and just see where each day leads me. it's exciting. i got a really strong rush of both adrenaline and anxiety yesterday when i actually purchased my plane tickets. it was really real, and i was doing it. go me. some people might be wondering why it's such a big deal to me, and i can't even explain it exactly, except to say that i have a really really hard time being alone. period. ever. it's something i'm addressing in therapy; what makes me so uncomfortable just being in my own skin. and i have no idea. but i think doing this, and facing one of my biggest fears (traveling and being a big city alone) is a really big step and it makes me feel really good to be doing it. plus it's something very exciting to look forward to. which i need.


Mandy said...

Oh my God, that Incline thing looks so scary! Heights-scary, not rickety-scary. You totally have to do that.

ryan said...

duh, i totally will. i LOVE heights. i can't wait. and pittsbrugh looks really beautiful. it'll be fun to see the confluence of the rivers, and all the mountains around the city.

Anonymous said...

My first reaction was "I wanna go", but I guess that would defeat the purpose. maybe I'll just stalk you.