Thursday, March 01, 2007

Credit in the straight world

The only thing that keeps me going at work is my co-workers. I love them. Almost all of them. Some I really, really like, and some I don't like as much, but there isn't a single one among them that I actually dislike. And that's saying a lot for me. We have a lot of fun, have lots of inside jokes, have funny code words to make fun of customers in front of their faces and then laugh hysterically to each other when they leave. Okay, it's mean, but if you had to deal with these people, you'd do the same thing. It's a bond we all share. We have a good time.

Something weird has been happening lately though, and I can't exactly say that it bothers me, it just...confounds me.

Okay, well, two things. First off, in the past week I've had no less than 3 of my co-workers (one of which is a manager) come up to me and tell me that some girl asked about me, like, directly, as in, "Is that guy single," or "Is that guy dating anyone." One co-worker (the one who calls me "Topper," presumably because we both go to St. Ed's, and that's the mascot there, and not because of any other reason...) even said a friend of his that comes in there all the time has a huge crush on me and always comes through my line, even if there's a line. It's happened a couple of times in the past too. Which of course is all very flattering and good, but also sort of annoying.

Secondly, some of these same men, and a few other guys who work there, all of whom are straight, by the way, have decided that they enjoy regaling me with very intimate details about their sex lives, including their masturbatory habits, and how badly their girlfriends give head. With details. It's so weird. Is this just something guys do? Seriously. I know that sounds dumb, and I know among friends dudes talk about bad head or whatever, but I don't even know these people, not really. And like, why do they pick the gay guy? Well, there's tons of gay guys there, but I guess why do they pick me specifically? Does this mean I'm in? Is it because I sort of play along sometimes and say things like, "That's why girls shouldn't give head, because they don't know what they're doing. You should just leave that to us." Or because sometimes I feel inclined to share my own masturbatory habits (depending on how attractive I find the guy)? But they always listen attentively and seem to enjoy it. And it's mostly totally univited. I'll just be standing there, minding my own business, and some guy will just walk up to me and say something like, "God, I had to masturbate like, five times yesterday, and I've been walking around with a boner all day today." Or, "Man, I have fuckin' bruises on my dick from getting the worst head of my life last night. With teeth and everything. I should show you. It really hurts."


So how do you respond to that? Like, "Oh, gee, Blank, that's crazy."

I've pretty much always gotten along better with straight guys than other gays, so does the fact that I sort of secretly enjoy that the straight guys consider me "cool" enough (or however you'd define it) to be so open with me signal some kind of internalized homophobia that I'm not even aware of, or have things just changed this much since I was 19 or 20 years old? Of course, some of these dudes are closer to my age, so that wouldn't explain it.

Did growing up in Arkansas shelter me that much? Am I way overanalyzing? I just think it's weird. But maybe it's not.


bryan h. said...

i love you life.

bryan h. said...

sorry, i meant to say, i love your live. nothing so ridiculous ever happens to me.

Dr. Cox said...

Im glad YOU love it. At least somebody does.

I'm a firm believer that you get back what you put out there. So I'm not sure what that says about me in regards to ridiculous things happening to me.